They Say Everything Happens For A Reason

…Well if that’s the case, last night was God’s big “eff you”. In other words, it was a learning experience. One that I would have survived the rest of my life not experiencing just fine. You see, I am what they call a “type a” personality. Mainly this comes into play with my plans.

I. Plan. Everything.

It can be a blessing a curse. I have at some point planned out every detail of my life. Except my wedding. Never even thought about that one. I’ve actually always rather someone else plan that for me. But that’s a different story for another day.

It’s good to have plan. I think it gives everyone focus and purpose in life. I mean who wants to just float by doing things for no reason? I like knowing that at least most things I do are for a reason. That’s why when you randomly get broken up with one day after including that person in your plan (and having that person want to be included), it’s a little difficult to recover.

But back to the point.

Without being too specific, my job requires me to oversee things being done. I don’t actually do the things that are needed, but I distribute them, give them the okay, and make sure they are finalized. Since I work in news, you can imagine things are constantly changing and need to be done on a very tight time frame. Since the beginning it’s been difficult to just take a back seat. I do the beginning work and the end work, but the middle (where the magic happens) is out of my hands. Once it gets to that phase, my pen clicking, gum chomping, and foot tapping kicks into high gear.

Last night was especially difficult because I was only working with one other person as opposed to three. The stuff we do adds the extra little flare to the show. It’s not like the show can’t go on without it, but it’s our “thing”. Since it’s not pressing it’s usually okay if there is a time crunch and a couple of things don’t make it. Last night a lot of things didn’t make it.

It’s so hard to be the point person because not only do I want to succeed for myself, but I don’t want to let anyone else down. This was also my first night flying completely solo so there was added pressure. While I know nothing is my fault and I did the best I could, it’s still somewhat of a disappointment.

But, perhaps that’s the kick in the ass I needed to realize that things won’t always go my way. My plan is going to go off track sometimes. Not everything is in my control. As long as I know I’ve done my very best, I can’t punish myself for other people’s thoughts or actions. I guess that applies to a lot of things in my life right now.

The whole night I was planning on going to spinning, but after not getting home until 12:15 and not falling asleep until way later, I called it off. I’m opting instead for the elliptical and some ab work. Today is technically an off day, but I think some light elliptical will be good for my body and mind!

Adjustments

Well, it’s officially winter. And I know this more because I’ve been cooped up on the couch sick than because of the temperature. Though, the last two days have been brutally cold. Wild chills of -10 are not my thing.

I was dealing with an annoying cough all last week. I thought it was the product of a late night out last Saturday (because I’m an old maid and not at all used to that!). But then a cough tried into a sneeze and a sneeze turned into not being able to breathe.

I think cold are my least favorite illness. They’re not the flu, so you really shouldn’t call out of work because of them, but they’re still so annoying and last so long. I’ve had this stupid thing for over a week now!

Sadly, I needed to make some adjustments to my running schedule. Instead of doing my planned 8 miles on Saturday I only managed 6. Which kind of annoys me because once I got to 6, I thought “what the hell, just do the extra 2”. But I knew it wouldn’t be good for me since Saturday was probably the worst day of the cold.

It also didn’t help that I took Sudafed before hand that definitely wasn’t the non-drowsy kind. It didn’t say drowsy. But it didn’t say it wasn’t. Which could be way I felt like I was going to faint the whole time. Yes, I know I should have just stayed in. But whatever. 6 miles is better than no miles. I guess.

At least I got to hang out with my favorite man, whose now sleeping in until 9:30!

Who wouldn't want to cuddle with that face?

More important than the run…was the shopping trip. I am now the proud owner of J Brand jeans. I was also a Hudson girl, but these were love at first sight! Designer jeans are totally worth their price tag, especially when you’re a petite girl and can find a size you don’t have to adjust!

While everyone is enjoying their holiday today, I will be working an extra long shift because I’m the only one there. I’m excited to do all the shows on my own, but would prefer the extra sleep when I’m feeling this crappy. I’ve been having a lot of career path thoughts lately. I can’t tell if it’s the adjustment to working until 10:30pm every night that’s getting to me or what. I wonder when people ever feel sure? I know this is my first real job and it’s not going to be perfect or everything I ever wanted, but I wonder if I missed some important learning experiences by only doing my internships in television production. My thoughts have been wandering a lot to PR, advertising, marketing, and social media.

I’m sure I’ll return to that thought soon! Enjoy your holiday 🙂

Minute Versus Miles

Welcome to the work week. I’m kind of not looking forward to work this week. With the New Hampshire Primaries upon us, I except everyone to be behaving like crazy people. I’m preparing for an incredibly busy few days, filled with breakdowns and freak outs. As anxiety prone as I can be, I actually work really well under pressure in a work environment. I don’t know what it is about knowing there is a deadline coming up, but I thrive off of that last-minute stuff.

And in the news, everything is last-minute. It’s definitely a field that you need to be passionate about. I can see how not knowing what the top story is going to be 2 minutes before airtime might drive some people crazy. But I love it. Not everyone I work with thrives off of the same pressure though. And that kind of drives me nuts. This industry is so tough to get into that if you’re not passionate and dedicated to it, I feel like you’re not only doing a disservice to yourself and the people you work with, but also to those who really would want your job. Is that too harsh of me?

Rant over.

Anyway, I started off the work week with a nice 30 minute run. One of the reasons I love my schedule is that I’m never rushed to get up and go. I actually didn’t even leave my apartment until 11:30 and still had plenty of time to shower, make lunch and dinner, play with the puppy, and bang out this post.

My legs were a little tight after Saturdays 70 minute run. I guess that not stopping this is a little harder on the body than all those walking breaks. Even still, I covered 3.55 miles in 30 minutes with pretty consistent splits

  • Mile 1: 8:27
  • Mile 2: 8:26
  • Mile 3: 8:31
  • .25: 8:22

Not too shabby, huh? I’m hoping this 8:30 pace holds steady when the runs increase in length. Or time.

Which brings me to my question. I’m going to ask this of my coach when I meet with her again on Wednesday, but I’m curious of the reasons for doing timed runs over distance runs. On Wednesday and Thursday, I’ll be doing mile based runs, but today and Saturday I did minute based runs.

Obviously in 30 minutes I’ll cover more than the 3 miles I have scheduled for Thursday. Just curious if there is a certain reason for that. Maybe getting my legs used to consistently running for a given period of time? Or maybe for pacing reasons? Any thoughts?

That’s the Life

Yesterday I was on my way home from work at the early hour of 11PM when I saw someone from my high school on the “subway” with me. I should clarify, trolley. Boston doesn’t have subways. At this rate, Boston isn’t going to have public transportation any time soon…but that’s still to come. We chatted a bit about holiday breaks now that we’re no longer in college and how much more we crave our time home compared to when we were coming back to class.

I’ve always been a kind of home body. Don’t get me wrong, I love having an apartment outside of my parents house, but I love going home where my mom jumps at the chance to do my grocery shopping and thinks laundry when the kids are home is the equivalent of winning the lotto. But it’s funny to see now that we’re all in the “real world” how quickly everyone seems to get burnt out.

I have to say, even though I worked yesterday (yes a holiday), I’m pretty lucky to work in this field. Working in television is not easy by any stress of the imagination. Actually getting the news on the air never fails to amaze me. Every day, I sit there at around 4:58PM and just cross my fingers. Back to the point. Yesterday was one of those days when I absolutely didn’t need to be at work. I could have been at the gym with all the January joiners, or running on The Charles in the freezing, or playing with my puppy.

Instead I was sitting in my editing suite with no news to be seen due to whatever that hockey game was that was on. I read two magazines, finished The Hunger Games (sidenote: read immediately), watched The Bachelor and chit-chatted with my best friend about how I think I’m ready to go on a date again (big news people!). But as I was sitting there, I was just thinking…even though this city irritates me 67% of the time, and even though this isn’t my dream job…somehow I managed to get time and a half for basically catching up on my leisure time.

I guess that’s a pretty good life!

The Obligatory Post

January 2nd, 2012. Already made it through one day in 2012, so maybe the world isn’t ending after all! Thank God, because if my Dad spent all that money on my education only for the world to come to an end, I think he’d be pissed. But on that note if the world is going to end, I should really start spending this savings account I’ve been building up. Who needs money when you’re dead?

Anyway.

So the obligatory post. Which one is that? Of course the resolutions and goals for 2012. I figure since I want this blog to be more of a journal, it’s okay to write out my goals and then the world can hold me accountable. Because obviously, the whole entire world is reading this blog currently. If you want to know how I got such a readership after 2 days, shoot me an email, I only charge a small fee to divulge my secrets.

Onto those goals. For now, I really don’t have that many. I have things I know I want to do, but I haven’t really narrowed down a list of the things I’m uncertain about. I think goals and resolutions are really important to push yourself, but I’m way too type-A and I could never put something on this list if I wasn’t positive.

1) Run a marathon. I took the first step when I registered after far too many glasses on wine on Christmas weekend. It’s been in the back of my mind for a year and I know I can do it. It’s going to be hard and it’s definitely a commitment, but that’s why it’s number 1. And the best part is the marathon is the same weekend as my graduation so I’ll have a great cheering squad of my whole family.

2) Read more. I love to read. In the last year I’ve read a lot, but it’d usually be on breaks from school where I hoard books and sit in a corner and read for weeks. Now that I’m done with that whole college thing and I work really weird hours, I have my whole day free where everyone else is working or in class. Instead of just sitting on my couch after I work out or run, I could easily be breezing through books. I don’t want to set an amount to read, but I do want to make a trip to the library once a month.

3) Move on and let go. So that’s rather broad, huh? This past year I’d like to say I’ve grown up a lot. I think I know a lot more about myself and the kind of things that make me tick than before. Unfortunately, I’m also a control freak and it really irritates me when things are out of my control and I can’t change a situation to the way I saw it in my head. For instance, that whole break up thing. That wasn’t supposed to happen. My control-freak self would love to change it and make it work the way I want. Unfortunately, my logical self knows thats not how things work. So I’m going to try really, really hard to just relax and let things go. See what happens and try not to drive myself crazy in the process.

4) Enjoy the situation now. Another broad one, I know. Back to that whole control freak thing, I saw myself in a job in NYC by now living alone. I’ve wanted to live alone for years, but it just wasn’t monetarily realistic. Although I adore my roommate, I’ve discovered I’m not the type of person who should have a roommate. I’m the type of person who wants everything the exact way I left it when I come home, who doesn’t mind be alone when I’m home, who doesn’t want to clean up after others, and doesn’t want others cleaning up after me. Similarly, even though I saw myself in a job in NYC that’s not how things unfolded. I have a job in my field, with a paycheck, immediately upon graduating and that’s more than most people can say. Instead of constantly trying to change things and look at the negative, I think I really need to throw myself into the things that I do have going for me. A roommate whose my best friend and a great first job.

5) Keep reaching for my goals. So now just to contradict myself completely, I’m a planner. I make lists every day. I love crossing things off them, and I’m sad if I go to bed without everything done. I plan my future because, for me, I think that’s the only way to reach where I’m going. So while yes, I don’t want to plan every minute and I think I need to be a little more spontaneous, I also think having a big goal in mind or an end point is the only way I can really get where I want to go. So sure, maybe I need to live in the moment, but I don’t think that should ever mean discounting the big picture.

So that’s it. Those are my five goals for 2012. Only two of them are really tangible, the others are more psychological, I guess. But I think that’s good. It gives me time to work on myself. And I guess that’s what being single is about? I should really rename this: 2012 goals: not to be a crazy control freak. Period.

Oh, I should add, another goal is to find out where you find boys to date. Seriously, where? Send any eligible bachelors this way, please and thanks